Pain Isn't a Stage: Stop Playing the Martyr

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Here's a common pet peeve of mine, one of the many reasons I prefer to be alone and just downright avoid prolonged companionship with another human being. Being sick, injured, in pain, or in whatever form of suffering, whether physical or spiritual, is not and should never be turned into a performance. If you need help, ask for help. If people are asking about your condition and you're comfortable answering such queries, then give them the information they seek. But don't turn this world into your own stage and force humanity to be your audience. What exactly are you trying to achieve anyway? Are you seeking sympathy, assistance, understanding? Just fucking say it. Use words. Be clear.

Unless you're dumb.

Unless you're somehow incapable of verbal communication.

Unless you think you're so special that you deserve unsolicited attention.

Unless you want to guilt trip others whom you're blaming for your predicament.

Unless you're just an attention-seeking, narcissistic masochist.

Whatever the case may be, what you're doing is just downright annoying. It's as if you are weaponizing your own suffering to cause suffering to others. Ever heard of suffering in silence? Ever heard of self-care? You are not everyone's baby. Humanity is not your caretaker. Yes, as Christians, we ought to love one another and we are indeed our brother's keeper. However, performative sufferers are abusing this in order to satisfy some sick fantasy or desire. They're not interested in getting their problems resolved; they are interested in being hailed as living martyrs — and for what end? It's just crazy.

Maybe you do genuinely need help. Maybe there is an acceptable reason for your performances. But in that case, do you know what your real problem is? You're performing before the wrong audience. Shouldn't you be doing that instead to people who actually have the power to help you? And if there's none, heck, go fucking pray! God will listen. God will pay attention. And yes, God cares and will give you the help you need, whether physical or spiritual, or both. So much suffering and whining is wasted because we never bothered going to the One who has the power to truly rescue us from all the evils of this world.

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